When was the last time when you were really inspired to do something big and you did not? Did it remain as a thought?
For me it was to take a break and leave my full time corporate job of close to 20 years. I left the job with no idea what I was going to do next and there was no hard feelings but simply I felt that I needed to do so.
I was a mum in my very busy full time work, trying to jungle everything because I believe I could. At the same time, I compromised on my personal time, health and even time with my family.
All I knew was to hustle and went through my life day after day in autopilot mode. I pushed away a lot of my feelings because of fear. It is only now that I could see the reason behind it.
It is the fear of stepping into the unknown and the fear of owning up my own power. The irony is that I used to always draw cards about living into my power and I totally ignored that. I was not in the frame of mind to understand and live up to it.
The Universe was giving me such obvious cue but I still decided to live in the fear, simply because that was what I was familiar with, though not necessarily better for me. Lesson learnt.
In the past few days, my body energy was running a little low because of menstrual cycle and was nearly catching a cold. I decided to listen to my body and give it a rest. This is very unusual for me as I used to operate with my masculine mode. I always felt that I needed to meet certain deadlines; get things done and made sure things were working well.
I have now learnt to slow down and really listen to my body and inner messages, I realized there was so much wisdom that I used to ignore totally. Whenever I feel differently about an issue or a to-do task, I will check in to see if this is fear, pure laziness or other reasons. I decided to be a third person, be curious and humane about my own feelings.
When you see things from a different perspective and step outside of your own world; you will see a bigger picture. At the end of the day, we are the producer, director and actor of your own life, just that we don’t realize it most of the time.
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